Soulgasm

Baltic

Finding myself

Above the Baltic

Between Saint Petersburg and Paris

Where is the sky

Where is the sea

Imagined arms in first position

A ballet beginner

Embracing a ball of light:

I’m not a nationality

I’m not a passport

I’m not a language

A country

A political party

A religion

An addresss

A family member

A marital status

A gender

A weight

A height

A skin color

A diploma

A job title

A news cycle…

Maybe a visitor

A soul in a body

A person

Spaciousness

©Aliss Valerie Terrell 2019

 

 

 

Happy Mothers Day

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Thank you everyone for your warm reactions to my Return to Russia story on Facebook and Instagram, May 1st to May 8th.

http://www.facebook.com/aliss.terrell

http://www.instagram.com/aliss.terrell

This photo may seem strange for Mothers Day, but it expresses many things for me. It’s a statue at the Baby House near St Petersburg, Russia where I found my son on Nov 12th, 2007 and finally picked him up on May 8th, 2008 after three years of obstacles. The statue needs repairs, like the Baby House, closed down ten years ago.

I send love to all our mothers, all of us blessed to raise our own children and those of us who raise children whose mothers couldn’t. We stand on a fragile pedestal of joys snd challenges.

And love to my beloved daughter, who first made my wish to become a mother come true…

Happy Mother’s Day

xxxxx Aliss

Is it Love or Robots?

Screenshot 2019-03-21 at 07.52.13.png

A screen shot taken this morning on the Margaritas at Midnight YouTube Analytics page where the number of views continues to zigzag in the war between Youtube and the Robots (?). Are these real people loving the video or bots masquerading as people? Will YouTube approve these views or delete them? Enjoying the suspense!! Never a dull moment!!

To be continued!!

Margaritas at Midnight

margaritas thumbExcited to share “Margaritas at Midnight” my first music video as DIRECTOR (AND singer songwriter) 🙂

Recorded with the British band Rough Score, guaranteed tequila buzz with bluesy lounge beach music…true love, shamanic dream or cautionary tale?…

Includes DIVINE margarita recipe demonstration 🙂

Here’s the link:

Now on i-Tunes

http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1449311127?ls=1&app=itunes

And Apple music

http://itunes.apple.com/album/id/1449311127

More soon!

xxxxxxx Aliss

Finding Hidden Light

DSC04645Even when I take a break from news and social media, I’m still immersed in the realities of the world, just by walking around my neighborhood.

This picture was taken on a chilly late October afternoon. I wasn’t able to ascertain if the two people sleeping on a grating were migrants or crack addicts, but I was struck by the fact that a kind soul had left them fresh bread and fruit. This is a constant in my area: people’s concern for the less fortunate, even when it’s challenging.

At a local town hall meeting this fall to address the consequences of drug trafficking on our streets, local residents and shop owners were concerned about being accosted by hostile beggars,  dealers occupying their entrances and parking facilities, addicts lighting up crack pipes along the sidewalks in broad daylight, sleeping in our hallways and using them for toilets, the effect on businesses and children walking to and from school in this atmosphere… but also worried about these human beings and their welfare. Police and town council members were present at the meeting, but also associations creating safe houses for poly-addicts to get sterile syringes, spend the night indoors, get medical attention and a chance at starting over. Amazing. The police explained that by law, addiction is considered an illness and when someone is picked up for drug trafficking, they are given shelter and counseling by the court system…

In this vein, here’s a quote from an interview with Rachel Naomi Remen, a story told to her by her grandfather:

“This is the story of the birthday of the world. In the beginning, there was only the holy darkness, the Ein Sof, the source of life. Then, in the course of history, at a moment in time, this world, the world of a thousand thousand things, emerged from the heart of the holy darkness as a great ray of light. And then, perhaps because this is a Jewish story, there was an accident. [laughs] And the vessels containing the light of the world, the wholeness of the world, broke. And the wholeness in the world, the light of the world, was scattered into a thousand thousand fragments of light. And they fell into all events and all people, where they remain deeply hidden until this very day.

Now, according to my grandfather, the whole human race is a response to this accident. We are here because we are born with the capacity to find the hidden light in all events and all people; to lift it up and make it visible once again and, thereby, to restore the inate wholeness of the world. This is a very important story for our times — that we heal the world one heart at a time. This task is called “tikkun olam” in Hebrew, “restoring the world.”  

http://onbeing.org/programs/rachel-naomi-remen-the-difference-between-fixing-and-healing-nov2018/

Always looking for hidden light…

xxxxxx Aliss

Out of Chaos, Love

Recent full moon over our roof in Paris…IMG_0837For weeks now, with all the natural and human-made disasters, an endless loop has been playing in my head. It involves something I read long ago in a haze of sleeplessness and overwhelm following the birth of my first child.

I was emerging from after effects of an emergency C-section, trying to relocate my body and my self under the baby weight, through the pain of moving any one of my 700 muscles, every one seemingly connected to a stitched incision across my lower abdomen. I was completely in love with my baby daughter, but in a state of intense confusion about the birth. We were both alive, I had been conscious and greeted her when she was born, and isn’t that all that counts? But it hadn’t been what I’d hoped for us. I had prepared for the event like an Olympic athlete, but because her cord was around her waist and across her chest like a safety belt (which was a surprise because it didn’t show up on prenatal ultrasounds), there was no way I could have ever delivered her like the Super Mother I planned to be.  To make up for this, I would be a breast feeding champ. That however, was not proceeding smoothly either, so I called La Leche League for help. My apartment became LLL meeting HQ for several months and among other perks, I got a subscription to their magazine. Somewhere in a file in my office is an article I cut out back then, in which a young mother of toddlers describes her toy and sock-strewn living room as the incarnation of Entropy, the Law of Thermodynamics according to which all systems tend towards greater disorganization. The word Entropy transported me back to 8th grade science class and my disbelief when our teacher tried to explain it. This seemed to go against every moral and spiritual principle holding the world together. The universe was disintegrating, everything was breaking down and there was nothing we could do about it. Very demoralizing.

On some level, I refused to accept it, pushing it to the back of my mind for future consideration. So here it was again coming from an exhausted fellow female. I read on as she described watching her little ones sleep, her paradoxical feeling of peace after a hectic day where everything seemed to be spinning out of control, knowing her devotion to these two little people would energize her to pick everything up and put it all in its proper place, once again. She ended the essay with, “The opposite of Entropy is Love,” love being the invisible organizing force that heals and restores in seemingly hopeless situations. This made me smile and gave me comfort; I’ve never forgotten it, and it’s been on mind lately, making me wonder if there’s a deeper truth here and how it relates to the world.

Among other ways to take my thoughts off the headlines, I’m working my way through a paperback collection of vintage NYT crosswords. P. 105, clue 53: “Offspring of Chaos, to Hesiod,” four letters, the last two already filled in: “O-S.” Really, “Eros”?

Feed the clue into a search engine…yes, the poet Hesiod, thought to be a contemporary of Homer, recorded Greek religious beliefs (what we call myths) thus:

“In Greek mythology, Chaos (Greek: Χάος), according to Hesiod, Chaos (“Chasm”) was the first thing to exist: “at first Chaos came to be” (or was) “but next” (possibly out of Chaos) came Gaia, Tartarus, and Eros (elsewhere the son of Aphrodite)…”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_(mythology)

Eros, the creative force of love and life, what some people call the numinous. Realities beyond the Laws of Thermodynamics…Isn’t there a theory that even so-called “black-holes” open onto fountains of light?

My new mantra and field of research in the face of current events: Out of Chaos, Love, Out of Darkness, Light…

An endless loop playing in my head xxxxx Aliss